Famous Quotes
I’m a quote person. Anything I want to say has likely been said more eloquently (or more amusingly) by someone else already.
Here’s a selection of favorite quotes by the famous and/or infamous:
Randal – “I’m not going to miss what’s probably going to be the social event of the season.”
Dante – “You hate people!”
Randal – “But I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?” ~Clerks
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. ~W. C. Fields
Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists. ~Norman Mailer
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. ~Ronald Reagan
People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. ~A. J. Liebling
I find this corpse guilty of carrying a concealed weapon and I fine it $40. ~Judge Roy Bean, finding a pistol and $40 on a man he’d just shot.
When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken. ~Benjamin Disraeli
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. ~John Stuart Mill
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. ~Thomas Jefferson
A liberal is a person whose interests aren’t at stake at the moment. ~Willis Player
Take it, hold it, love it. ~AmmuNation Clerk – GTA:San Andreas
An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. ~Robert A. Heinlein
In this country, there’s nothing daring about going against the government. ~Tom Wolfe
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. ~Dave Barry
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. ~Dave Barry
I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. ~Woody Allen
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. ~George Burns
Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil. ~W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. ~W. C. Fields
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. ~Mark Twain
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. ~Mark Twain
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. ~Mark Twain
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case. ~Finley Peter Dunne
An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff. ~Adlai E. Stevenson
Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do. ~Voltaire
Some men are born posthumously. ~Nietzsche
