Personal Quotes

I’m a quote person. Anything I want to say has likely been said more eloquently (or more amusingly) by someone else already.
Here’s a selection of favorites and embarrassments from time spent with friends:

It’s official, Soggy Biscuit doesn’t get any better with strippers. ~Andy Zschetzsche

Yes, except we’re going to replace beer with hard liquor, and pretzels with the mixer for hard liquor. ~Sam Geller

I might have had opium. ~Sam Geller

About the only black guy Michael J. Fox could play is Michael Jackson. ~Peter McAnally

Us playing this game is like 3 monkeys trying to fuck a football. ~Peter McAnally

Is there a face in our sink? ~Andy Zschetzsche

You know Dan, it’s probably unwise to stick your fingers in the toaster. I’ll get you a knife. ~ Andy Zschetzsche

I wanted to eat this baby so bad. ~Donavon Cawley

I was drinking breast milk flavored tea with little geletin balls in it. ~James Bordewick

According to the pictures, I had fun. ~ Peter McAnally

I suppose I hope you don’t get raped. ~Sam Geller

I AM insatiable. ~Sam Geller

Drink more, faster ~Peter McAnally

Dan, if you leave, I’m really going to miss you. You’re the nicest asshole I’ve ever met. ~Ron Witham

He’s racked up enough frequent flyer miles that he gets it for free. ~Rachael Gilman

Those tail feathers look like poontang, let me tell you. ~Katie Gorecki

She’s got a bigger dick than it does. ~Katie Gorecki

Do you have to part it and put it in a pony tail to masturbate? ~Katie Gorecki

I like an ass after it’s been used a bit. ~Andy Zschetzsche

Don’t think about what it is, just drink it like it’s pussy water. ~Katie Gorecki

Yes I had to pay for it, but I still felt loved. ~Peter McAnally

It’s only a girl, FUCKING A HORSE. ~Gene

I want to see a girl fucking a crocodile. ~Katie Gorecki

I love CGI skanks. ~Andy Zschetzsche

I cry like a schoolgirl. Is that a free action? ~Andy Zschetzsche

..or I will punch you in the kidneys in a non-sexual manner. ~Rachel Gilman

That’s for me to know and Katie to try and drag out of me. ~Sam Geller

I’ve killed off plenty of civilizations lately. ~Andy Zschetzsche

I’m pretty much not going to make an attempt on your life. ~Paula O’Loughlin

It takes forever to get off. ~Rachael Gilman

It was going to be real fluff, the kind that had substance. ~Jenn Newman

I had the best sex of my life in the seminary. ~Bernie

Yes, I’ve been ganked enough to know a quality ganking from a non-quality one. ~Sam

I’m feeling lonely, I’m going to go out to my car for a while. ~Andy